A letter of appreciation

Dear Celery,

You’re taken for granted, I know: relegated to a mere vessel for a fatty, overpowering legume spread; mercilessly used up and cast aside, your soul siphoned off for stock. With such refinement and elegance as yours, it must seem cruel punishment to be typecast again and again — and so coarsely! — as a crudité. The Sideshow Bob to Krusty the Buffalo Wing. The Gallant to that Goofus Carrot. You’ve not just taken a backseat to your ugly Cousin Celeriac, it’s like you might as well not exist any more.

You’re misunderstood. Your sturdiness and pluck mistaken for an excess of oral fiber; your singular assertiveness misjudged as indiscreet, unladylike. But I want you to know that I understand your charm. I know what you bring to the table — and I like it.

Treated with little understanding as to your special qualities, you’re like that brainy, gangly, slightly awkward girl in class. The boys find you intimidating, and you’re ignored at school dances. But handled right, you grow up to be a knockout — all leggy sophistication and smarts, with a mysterious air of exoticism. They’ll all want a piece of you.

Sometimes all you need is for someone to lay you down and show you a little finesse. You don’t need to be hidden under stinky, gloppy layers of blue cheese or hummus; you just need a little lemon juice, olive oil, salt, and pepper.

Easy, breezy, beautiful. That’s you.

Don’t forget it,


4 Responses to “A letter of appreciation”

  1. 1 lily January 30, 2009 at 8:23 am

    haha.. i love this “letter.”

  2. 2 Cathy February 3, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    How true. Also, celery has a ridiculous amount of vitamins, and I’ve found that most people seem to think the opposite. My friend guffawed once when I suggested celery (upon his question: “How do I get more vegetables into my diet?”) because he thought it nutritionally devoid.

  3. 3 rach May 15, 2011 at 3:46 am

    I came across this while looking for some ideas for cooking this huge amount of celery I’ve acquired. I’m going to appreciate it so much, and thank you for taking the time. ❤

  1. 1 Unoriginal, and unapologetic — or: brussels sprouts as muse « Fat is flavor Trackback on February 13, 2009 at 4:26 pm

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