A letter of apology

Dear Microwave,

I’m sorry about all the mean things I’ve said about you over the years. To your face, even. They were nasty, uncalled for, and only somewhat true.

I really did, for the longest time, think I didn’t need you, that you just took up a lot of needless space, that you would lure me into your nefarious, cheating ways and away from my true love, Good Honest Cooking Over a Stove.

I realize now, and I have McGee and Bittman to thank for it, that I was underestimating you all this time. You’re good for so much more than just reheating rice. You make some amazing eggplant curry. And with a minimum of fuss!

Just like every other appliance in the kitchen, you too have your own special talents that you bring to my table. And instead of turning up my nose, I really should have welcomed you into my home. And I am sorry for that. For all the wasted time we’ve been apart.

I hope you’ll forgive me, Microwave. I’ll always leave room on the shelf for you. Bygones?


P.S. I will never again make fun of Joyce for relying so heavily on you.


3 Responses to “A letter of apology”

  1. 1 joyce April 3, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    Dear Winnie,

    Whatever. But because I’m the bigger person/appliance and because millions of Americans and perhaps billions worldwide have used me, loved me, and allowed me to nourish them night after night, calling upon me in their hour(s) of hot brownie need, I accept your apology. You have missed many of my secrets over the years, among them the magic of Peeps-jousting, two-minute rice, and lessons such as “what explodes!” and “what contains traces of metal!” and “never crispy!”. I am Six Flags over Fermilab, truly the Great America for all. So good for you and your eggplant curry. Welcome to the 1970s, I open my plastic gates for you.

    The Microwave.

  2. 3 michelle April 6, 2008 at 12:53 am


    the bittman piece made me kinda sad for the first time in years about my lack of microwave. (i don’t not have one cuz i’m snobby, i just don’t have room, or rather, i have room but i value my kitchenaid standing mixer more).

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