forget the fresh-squeezed oj. and maybe even the blueberry pancakes. there’s nothing quite like rolling out of bed on a wondrous, bright california morning and heading to the freezer for a tofutti cutie. yes, yes, grimace all you want, i was a skeptic as well when my friend kate extolled the virtues of the non-dairy frozen dessert: a soy-cream sandwich. i even thought all was lost when i came home with the wild-berry flava which just didn’t match up to the good ole vaniller. but wild-berry’s grown on me and reminds me of why it’s so good to be alive (seriously though, you know those mornings where you open your eyes and just think “where the hell is MY joie de vivre?” or “rise and shine MY ass”… and folks, this is not depression, it’s life in the fricking C of A. stop it with the prozac, get yoself some tofutti cutie).

speaking of the thawing and microwaving, did you know that you’re not supposed to do both more than once to an arssicle of food? common sense probably, but i had no clue i was putting my life on the line. i should do the julie/julia project except with the microwave cookbook (52 ways to celebrate the rest of your microwave life). one more association: for a good microwave story, check out pages 242-258 of Infinite Jest. i know it’s sitting there on your pretentious shelf. dooo it.

it’s the last weekend of spring break and i’m sitting here inside. the ironic thing about living in socal is this: you think you would think, “hey it’s a beautiful day i should really go outside and run around.” what really happens is: “hey no worries i’ll sit on the couch and watch some tv and eat my fridge because it’s always nice outside. i can always go outside tomorrow.” (repeat) lest you fear for the latitude of certain parts of my body, i am going to the beach today. wait, lemme rub that in again, weeenie. beach. again. today.

one last thing that made me think of… us. courtesy of aldaily.com: In a larger sense, though, Leonardo [da Vinci] was not a lover of his fellow men, whom he characterized as “sacks for food” and “fillers-up of privies.” huzzah, fill her up dude.


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